THE FIRST PERSON YOU SHOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH IS YOURSELF

 SIMRAN SHARMA

“Growth begins when we start accepting ourselves” -Jean Vanier

"Love yourself!" we hear all the time. We are constantly told that loving oneself is the most important and valuable thing we can do. However, what we don't often hear or comprehend is how. What exactly is self-love? What does it mean to put it into practice? How do we get started?

Self-love means having a compassionate, kind, patient, tolerant, and curious connection with yourself. When you make mistakes, self-love means giving yourself compassion and forgiveness. It doesn't imply you're arrogant, or even worse, a narcissist; it just means you believe in yourself and trust your goals.

Why is it important?

Because you can't love people in a healthy way unless you love yourself. You may have feelings for people, yet you may be afraid to express them. You may love others and want to connect with them, but if you don't love yourself first, you'll find it difficult to receive healthy love. In a good relationship, the exchange of love necessitates concrete self-love.

Because an empty cup cannot be poured from. Consider how much work it takes to show love and affection, to be emotionally available, and to be considerate. Your ability to provide love will be harmed if you don't have reserves of self-love.

Because self-love heals old scars and traumas. Many of us have had challenges in our lives that have had an impact on our mental health, sense of self, attitude, and worldview. Traumas frequently make us feel as if we are worth less than we were before the event. We can move past unfavourable previous events by cultivating an internal sense of self-love rather than external ones.

Because you can create better, healthier, and more honest objectives for yourself if you have self-love. How many times have you established a goal for yourself based on negativity: disliking your appearance, feeling helpless at work, or feeling like a "failure" in a pastime or passion? When we love ourselves, we want to nourish ourselves rather than "fix" ourselves with arbitrary expectations. We have a more accurate understanding of our worth and abilities, and we can decide what would be the most useful goal to pursue.

More than anything, because you are deserving of the love you generously give to others. This statement is self-evident. You are deserving of love just as you are.

How do you engage in self-love? 

3 Exercises to practice and strengthen your self-love!

1) Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you love:

Consider what you tell yourself when you're annoyed, angry, or embarrassed. Imagine expressing such comments to someone you care about, such as a friend, lover, or family member. Would you agree? Imagine that friend, partner, or family member is sitting across from you, talking awful things about himself/herself/themselves. What would your reaction be?

2) Self-care:

You may believe that you will not be able to offer yourself self-care until you are an expert at it, but this is not the case. Self-care acts influence your thinking in the same way that actions influence behaviour.

Self-care is defined as any action conducted with the goal of addressing your needs, whether physical or emotional. Self-care is not selfish since it allows you to be the best version of yourself in the world.

You can talk to a friend or loved one on the phone or meditate for a few minutes. Take a walk or view a YouTube video about unexpected animal friendships. You can create your own sleep routine. You can learn how to prepare your favourite meal. You might make a list of self-care activities that you enjoy and work on crossing them off one by one! Watch a film. Increase your water intake. Make a list of the things you are grateful for in your life. Make a bubble bath, light a few candles, and listen to your favourite podcast. The options are limitless, and they're all correct as long as they serve your needs.

3) Boundaries:

Being able to advocate for ourselves is one of the most effective strategies to increase our self-love. We show ourselves care and respect by standing solid in our needs and expressing them. Setting limits with ourselves and others is an excellent method to communicate and work towards our goals.

Boundaries are established by first identifying them and then asserting them. The act of identification validates our worth in having them in the first place; knowing our worth allows us to develop the love and compassion we deserve to give to ourselves. Self-care means taking the time and making the effort to stay to our limits. We define our beliefs and goals when we create boundaries; we know what is significant and what is not.

When using our self-love engagement tools, it's vital to remember that expressing our self-love can be more difficult at times than at others. When this happens, we might remind ourselves that "love" and "like" are two different things: you probably always love your closest friend, even if you don't always agree with their behaviour or are frustrated that they aren't spending as much time with you right now. Self-love is the same way: expressing and practising it can feel like a challenge or a struggle at times. But, as with your friendship, you are aware that there is always a love present. Remind yourself of the same thing: love does exist within you, even when you struggle to use the tools at hand or feel like it has dwindled. Be gentle and kind to yourself; slowly develop your self-love.

Our thoughts and sentiments about ourselves will not always be positive and upbeat, but the work we put in to be kind and compassionate to ourselves is invaluable.